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The actor talks about how he has changed and grown as a person post Haider
Shahid Kapoor has been trying to find success at the box-office. He always gets critical acclaim, but has been missing that big hit. He even did a R…Rajkumar and a Phata Poster Nikhla Hero in search of a `100-crore hit, but it is with Haider that he has found his audience. His journey is different from that of his peers. While every other hero is shedding his shirt, Shahid has shed his need to do a film for any reason other than because he wants to do it. He’s coming from a really honest place, and is most worthy of a National Award for his latest performance. Here he talks about Haider — before after and during. Read on…
The best reaction you’ve got for Haider…
I have never got so many reactions in my life. And so many people are asking whether I expect a National Award. I am like, ‘Just calm down.’ But the best one happened even before the film released, when my dad saw it for the second time. Usually, my dad and I always spend time together after he sees a film of mine and I always ask him what he thinks, if I missed out on something and if he thought I could have done some scene differently. His point-of-view is really important….
So… what was his reaction?
I’ve never had my father look at me and say, “I think you have got it all.” Vishal has been forwarding me so many mails and texts and it’s just been an amazingly special 13 days since the release. The reactions started with screenings we started having three or four days before the film released. Everybody was telling us that we were committing suicide by releasing it with Bang Bang because that’s such a big, expensive, commercial film. And we were a very niche film in our appeal and in every way. But we always kind of felt like it’s a period which can accommodate two films and Haider is a kind of film which provides you something which, honestly, no other film can. It is a unique experience and we all had a lot of faith in the film. And eventually, when you have a good product, you really believe in your product — and by that, I don’t mean a film that you have calculated is going to do well, but a film from your heart you truly believe in — it gives you a lot of confidence that cannot be explained. Maybe people who are seeing it from the outside, might not get it and feel it was very stupid, but all of us are all very proud of the product we made.
What stood out for you in the film?
I had actually no perspective of myself because unlike most parts, this one… felt like it was beyond my capacity. Honestly, while doing the whole film, I constantly kept feeling like I am going to fall short and not be able to portray the serious facets this character needs to, because it’s a very complex part and we didn’t shoot it linear. We were shooting it in different kind of spaces, especially the portion where Haider is very silent, refuses to accept that his father is dead. And finally accepts that he is dead and after that, the portion where he kind of goes mad…
Your reasons for doing Haider?
I did the film because of two lines. One being that “Hindustan mein bhi azadi lathiwala laya tha, bandukwala nahi “ and the second line being “Intiquam se sirf intiquam paida hota hai. Jab hum apne intiquam se azadi nahi paa lete, koi azadi hame azad nahi kar sakti.” And for Haider to take that decision… he obviously wasn’t completely mad… He had some sanity somewhere, right? So to play that guy who is mad, but not completely mad, was tricky and we were not shooting it chronologically (because the bald portion had to be shot at the end), it was all over the place. I was very worried whether it would come out smoothly…
When you saw the film, you felt you got it right…
You know, it was not so much about myself, but I just felt very proud of the product that we had made when I saw the film, because I generally feel everybody is outstanding in the film whether its Tabu Ma’am Kay Kay, even Shraddha for her fifth film is very good. Everybody else is kind of established as actors and so correct in everything they do, that she brought this energy, I found very endearing. She brought this really nice innocent quality to the film. I felt it added a layer to the film… You know, that little imperfection, that little bit, I kind of liked that.
Many opinions on Haider — political cinematic and personal. what was yours at the start?
I had felt uncomfortable when I read a few things in the film and I wondered whether it was true…. But it’s a work of fiction. It’s a movie, it’s not a documentary. But yes, we expected reactions and I must say that I am overwhelmed with the amount of appreciation and positivity for a film. Of course, there is a section who has got put off by certain parts of the film and I respect their opinion. But a much larger part of the audience has connected with the human journey in the film. There are political angles in the film, but they are not really the film. The film, to me, is actually about, ‘WOW, somebody has the guts to make it in India.’
I think we underestimate our audiences…
Look at the time we made Haider in — when the only kind of films that are apparently working, I would say this in inverted commas “are supposed to be commercial,.” Which don’t have a story, or any original characters, which are just structured into formats which will make good promos. And then audiences will come in and in the first four days, big collections happen, everyone is happy, and that’s it. And Vishal made this film — a filmmaker whose last two films have not done well. He was going out there and saying, ‘I am not trying to run after commerce , I am trying to find who I am and make a film that I truly believe in.’ And the result is Haider, which is such a special film because he went back to who he was rather than trying to listen to everybody around him. When we were talking about Haider, he just had this expression in his eye every time, and as an actor I just felt that he really wants to make this film. And I said yes. He added, ‘You will have to go bald,’ and when he told me why, I was like, ‘Okay, let’s do this.’ I guess that’s all that he needed you know. He had an actor and that was at a stage where he hadn’t started writing the script. He really wanted to make Haider as it was a subject so close to him.
One gets the feeling that you were still trying to find your space. After R… Rajkumar, you you seem to have decided not to run after what is working do films that sound like hits.
To be honest, I have kind of become the kind of actor now who adapts to my filmmaker’s world and I have started enjoying doing that a lot. Otherwise I don’t think I could have done these two films — R… Rajukumar and Haider —back-to-back. It’s not possible. You have to completely surrender and submit to the filmmaker’s world, sensibility, beliefs… and I did that in both films. But I have said this before, I have always grown with this thought that the actor in me is going to make me the star. Being my father’s son, I have always grown with that thought and it keeps creeping back into my system every once in a while and it keeps nagging me, ‘Listen, you wanted to act, remember, star? All is great, but you wanted to act. Are you acting? Are you doing something which is challenging as an actor?’ The biggest learning that I have had, (actually my biggest fear) and I feel very liberated that that’s changed in the last two-three years… I used to always try and make the right choices, I used to always try and do the things which everybody thought would work because I was from a very middle-class family. I had gotten a break and fortunately, things had worked for me, but I didn’t have any camp backing me. I had no security blanket behind me that if I made a mistake, somebody would sort it out for me and I would get another opportunity, so I always tried to make the right decision. And when I made those decisions, I realised that I was not being original anymore because originality can only come from unknown places. If you are doing something you know is already working, you are not being original. You are just copying somebody else, you are just following what everybody is doing.
I always thought that you did films that you believed in.
No, I think now is the time when I’m truly doing films fearlessly as opposed to earlier. I still used to take very calculated decisions and I think I am being more fearless in my choices now and Haider was one of the most fearless choices that I have made. To do a film which is in every vein, is against any cliché and a norm which is supposedly followed by the commercial pundits is liberating.
How is it different working with Vishal this time?
Very different. In Kaminey we had this good actor director relationship but during this film he became more than a director. There is a lot of warmth, faith, and sharing. I think of all the film makers I have worked with in my entire life, I trust him most. Because he has pretty much shaped my career. Kaminey and Haider are the two most definitive films in my career. I have huge amount of love and gratitude for Vishal because if he hadn’t given me these two opportunities, may be people would have never seen this side of me as an actor.
Also Jab We Met.
Yes, In fact, Vishal Sir cast me in Kaminey only after Jab We Met. He said to me, ‘You played your character and you didn’t try and change it even though you didn’t have so much to say, you just stuck to your part,’ and he liked that.
What part of Haider does Shahid identify with?
All of it. Not that I have ever had a journey similar to Haider but I can understand it, because he is so human, so imperfect.… Haider is the most vulnerably perfect characters that I have played. I love how he is not a hero. He is just a student, who turned into a killer. There is nothing right about his journey, but there is everything human about it. And when I played the character, I actually felt like maybe if I was in Haider’s situation, I’d probably not even be able to react as well as he does. He is at least trying to think and take the right decision. So many people have met me and told me that when he holds the gun to the uncle, they wanted him to kill him. I probably would have thought the same way, but the beauty is that he doesn’t and that’s the message that he wants to give.
The guy who played your younger self looked a lot like you. ..
Ya, I was surprised that they didn’t even tell me. I was like, who is this guy? My brother looks quite different. First of all, he is 18, taller than me, and he has very curly hair so he can’t pull off being me anywhere. I don’t want him to also, I want him to find his own personality and be himself. He is a better dancer than me, though.
No, shut up!
I swear, I’ll show you videos. My brother is a hundred times better than me. He is outstanding, like he makes me feel embarrassed when I look at him dancing. Then he looks at me and says, ‘Bro, see you are not practising enough, that why.’
At one time, there was a lot of stress between you and Salman and you guys are like buddies, the chemistry you have with him on Bigg Boss — last year and this year — is so amazing.
I bumped into him yesterday. There was this Box office Award and I was in the gym when he walked in. He was talking to me and we were chatting. I have always been a fan. There was some misunderstanding long back, but he has been very warm and we have had great fun whenever we met.
You guys should do a movie together.
I wish we do. We did a scene together, actually. We had a lot of fun when we did that one scene in Phata Poster Nikhla Hero. We did a day’s shoot. It was a lot of fun.
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