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In between his pure Hindi, three breaks and long conversations, we managed to learn some more about Ronit Roy – the actor and the father
Ekta Kapoor’s new show Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar is based on how in a divorce, a couple can split but parents cannot. We got talking to Ronit Roy about his personal experience with divorce from his first wife, things he has missed out on in the need to succeed and the real father in him.
What is Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar all about?
The tag line of the show says it all. When you run behind success, you gain a lot of things. However, when you turn back and see all that you have lost, it hits you. It is then a struggle to get back all that, but you can’t always have it back; that I believe is the crux of the show. After fifteen years, when the couple meet, she realises that he has moved on, but she never got over the betrayal ‘coz for that long she has been fighting circumstances, her children, while all he does is spoils them. There is still than bitterness in her.
So who is wrong in the show – you or your wife Ragini (Pallavi Kulkarni Nerurkar)?
When this serial starts people will know what really happened, why they split, who was at fault and whether it was anyone’s fault or not. It’s sometimes just the situations that blinds you and make you take the wrong steps. The promo that has gone on air is just a tease; unless you watch the serial you will now know what exactly is the story. You get a narration of two hours when it’s a film, but in serials you can’t get the narration for four hundred episodes; it is not humanly possible. So when you watch the show, you will know what went wrong in the couple’s life.
After achieving so much success, have you personally lost anything in your real life that you’ve tried to get back?
What I have lost is something I know I cannot get it back. It’s almost impossible to do that in this lifetime. I don’t really care for any of the materialistic things I have lost; and I have lost a lot. More than a normal person can make in a lifetime. But the biggest thing which I consider a loss is time. I was married before so I’ve been in this situation personally. My ex-wife is now married to somebody else and I am married to Neelam, in all this the biggest loss is my daughter’s (Ona) childhood. Now when I see my other daughter (Aador) grow up – I sense that loss. Ever since my second daughter was born, I have been with her right from the time my wife was in labour – I was in the operation theatre. I have never left her alone till date. On hind side, I have missed all this with my first daughter; unfortunately some things when lost you can’t get them back. But now my elder daughter and me we are friends, we are WhatsApp buddies. Her childhood will never come back to me but ever since we’ve started talking and understanding, a lot of things have sorted themselves out. I have a few years left in my life and she has a long life ahead – I guess we can take the rest of our lives forward without any problems. If we manage that I think it will be a big redemption for both of us.
How would you describe yourself as a father?
I am quite chilled out. I am friends with all three of them in the real sense of the word. They are not scared of me. If I ask them not to do something and if they listen to me it’s more out of love and respect rather than fear. I don’t believe in denying my children anything. Times have changed and upbringings have changed. Like if my son asks for an I-pad it’s ‘coz they are taught to use that in school. Of course, as a family we get together to decide how much is enough and where to draw the line. So even the apps on the I-pad are restricted and I have all the passwords with me.
You’ve personally been through the trauma of a divorce. can you relate to this show in that sense?
There is nothing similar in the story of Itna Karo Na Mujhe Pyaar and my divorce. In life there are seven stages. I am now at the stage where I have experienced everything. The reason I am able to do this role is basically because I have seen things like this and experienced some. If I were to do the role of Gabbar, doesn’t mean I will become a dacoit just to get it right.
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